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"My words are Spirit and Life, and not to be weighed by the understanding of man. They are not to be drawn forth for vain approbation, but to be heard in silence, and to be received with all humility and great affection."
Thomas à Kempis

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"We shall find, when we reach the end of life, that all which God has done, however dark and mysterious it may have appeared at the time, was so connected with our good as to make it a proper subject of praise and thanksgiving."

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: "   Psalm 103:2

The Old Time Gospel

Over 9,600 pages
of Christian material.

"The Lord gave the word:
great was the company of
those that published it."

Psalm 68:11

A Ministry dedicated to preserving the truth and accuracy of the infallible Word of God.
Especially For Youth:    "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers..."   1 Timothy 4:12

Return to  Youth Index


  1. The water-proof towel
  2. Solar powered flashlight
  3. Submarine screen door
  4. A book on how to read
  5. Inflatable dart board
  6. A dictionary index
  7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
  8. Powdered water
  9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
  10. Water-proof tea bag


  1. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
  2. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
  3. Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
  4. Build on high ground.
  5. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
  6. Two heads are better than one.
  7. Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
  8. If you can't fight or flee -- float!
  9. Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
  10. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
  11. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain -- shovel!!!
  12. Stay below deck during the storm.
  13. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
  14. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
  15. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
  16. Don't miss the boat.
  17. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.


  • "Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching."
  • "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls."
  • "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning."
  • "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower."
  • "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes."
  • "Never bug a pregnant mom."
  • "Don't ever be too full for dessert."
  • "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him."
  • "Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
  • "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
  • "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
  • "Never try to baptize a cat."
  • "Never spit when on a roller coaster."
  • "Never do pranks at a police station."
  • "Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving."
  • "Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do."
  • "Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand."
  • "Listen to your brain. It has lots of information."
  • "Stay away from prunes."
  • "Never dare your little brother to paint the family car."
  • "Forget the cake, go for the icing."
  • "Remember the two places you are always welcome - church and Grandma's house."
  • "When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents."


  1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
  2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
  4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her Web site.
  5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor this year.
  6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
  7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screensaver.
  8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
  9. Every commercial on television has a Web site address at the bottom of the screen.
  10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and sells for half the price you paid.
  11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around to go get it.
  12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
  13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
  16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
  17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
  18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
  19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
  20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
  22. You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed.
  23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
  24. You're reading this; even worse, you're going to forward it to someone else!

Everything I Needed To Know In Life I Learned From A Jigsaw Puzzle...

  • Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.
  • When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.
  • Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.
  • Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.
  • When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).
  • The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.
  • Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.
  • Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.
  • Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.
  • Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).
  • Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.

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© 1999 The Old Time Gospel Ministry
"When to seek God has become life and to glorify God has become self, then you have truly found God."